We define how we play the game. If we don’t, the game plays us. Guaranteed. Here’s a pet peeve that’s hurled at me every week as I work with my clients. And I’m not exaggerating – every week: We have too many meetings. They’re tedious and unproductive. So why are we playing the “let’s have…

Flow. It happens when we’re in the zone. We lose track of time. Everything unfolds with a measure of grace. Nirvana. Bliss. And we so feel totally absorbed in what we are doing. Friggin’ awesome, isn’t it?

I told myself I wasn’t going to watch the George Zimmerman trial. Would not squander my time and get sucked in. Yeah, right. Thursday evening I surrendered. In the end he did not prevail – but boy, I was riveted by prosecutor Bernie de la Rionda’s performance. Lawyerly showmanship at its best. Big, bold, brassy.

It may sound like an academic question. It isn’t. Which of your personal assets make your colleagues, clients, team want to follow you? Is it your warmth? Is it your competence? The answer – duh – is both. But here’s the important part: BOTH need to be EQUALLY present.

Two confessions first. I am not a Food Channel watcher. And I really like Paula Deen. The first time I witnessed Ms. Deen on a television program, I, like so many other folks around this country, was enchanted by this earthy, saucy and larger-than-life personality with the big heart of gold.